Leseproben

"Poesie ist Wahrheit, die in Schönheit wohnt."

(Robert Gilfillan, 1798-1850)

"Poetry is to prose as dancing is to walking."

(John Wain)

Ode to my muse

Like a disease sown within me lies

nurturing what preserves the ill:
a constant longing, never still
leaving me a stranger
to my own mind - and will

I am
   a walking wounded
   a captive
   by sickly forced choice

My heart ripped open left to bleed –
    yet
it keeps racing, singing self-indulgently
with baffled, never resting admiration and
a permanence enduring a million years

For what I need
      is longing
an ever-crying heart
and for you to be my muse
to keep my armor at my feet
with no intent to guard

For your worst
brings out the best in me…

I need
   to fall
   to feel the pain
   to be entrapped
          to unleash what’s inside

Please…
Never hear me
Never heal me
But:
│imprison me│for life
let every breath I take
turn into a million humble sighs
forever serenading you with the smoothest words
a poet EVER put to verse

2014 © Susanne Kämmerer

Ode an meine Muse

Wie eine Krankheit in mir gesät liegt

nährend, was das Ungesunde liebt:

eine ständige Sehnsucht,

niemals zu stillen,

befremdend mir

den eigenen Geist – und Willen

Ich bin

ein wandelnder Verwundeter

ein Gefangener –

durch kränklich gezwungene Wahl

Mein Herz –

aufgerissen und ausgeblutet liegt es da –

schlägt,

singt nachsichtig

mit verwirrter, nie ruhender Bewunderung

und Beständigkeit –

noch die nächsten tausend Jahr

Das, was ich brauch,

ist Sehnsucht,

ein ewig weinend Herz,

und dich, meine Muse,

die meine Rüstung mir verwehrt

und Angriff um Angriff

auf mich fährt

Bitte ...

Erhör mich niemals.

Heil mich niemals.

Sondern: 

Halt mich gefangen.

Lass jeden Atemzug, den ich tu,

sich wandeln in ergebenes Bangen

lobsingend dir in den schönsten Versen,

die je einem Dichter zu eigen gewesen

2014 © Susanne Kaemmerer

A writer’s lot

Writing is solitude.
You are mostly alone.
But inside your head
An entire universe forms.
All creations like puppets
That you play on a string
That you know inside out
And command like a thing.
But yet they have power
To surprise you still
And when along comes the hour
Then trust me: They will.

You are never really just
ONE person alone.
And the one thing you must
Is: you have to condone.
Your mind’s like a whore:
Never truly faithful,
And also: not a bore
And exceptionally playful.
A mind - never resting
And without remorse.
A mind - never questioning
Its inexhaustible source.

With a mind oscillating between
What is real and what not
You become quite keen
Of what is next on the plot.
And here lie the dangers
For every writer, I say:
We might become strangers
Losing ourselves on the way.
For in our lives - unlike any other -
Different faces we wear,
And we don’t really bother
And we don’t really care.

Writing does bleed you dry
And it is worth a notion:
No matter how hard you try:
You can’t escape your emotion…
Cos inside your brain
You will die every death,
You will endure every pain,
You will feel every wrath!
For before you can truly
Make others believe
You have to know fully
About sorrow and grief.

2017 © Susanne Kämmerer

Night Terror

It all starts with a feeling
As if somebody’s there
As if something is moving -
Did you see that: right there? 
And your heart now starts racing
A million times its own speed
While time seems to slow down -
A really bitchy move indeed…

Then there’s that damn nasty prickle 
In the back of your neck 
As if someone's right behind you, 
But you don’t dare to check
As if someone's closely watching 
In the corner of your eye
Like a constant observer -
But never passing by

And the world does look 
Quite different at night 
Some things freak you out
That by day seemed alright
And that shadow of that flower
Down by the door
Now seems like a ghost
Wrought upon the floor

And it is the sound of silence
Driving you mad -
The sounds silence makes
When you’re in your bed:
All’s amplified by a thousand
In the dead of the night
All’s blood-curlingly creaky 
In the shade of moonlight

And all your senses are sharpened
Your instincts all up -
But still you’re all anxious
Like a sweet little pup….
And you close your trembling eyes
With a wish inside your head:
That they won’t come crawling
From underneath your bed

2018 © Susanne Kämmerer

Genesis reversed

The world has a fever.

It’s clever, you see:

It’s killing the infection –

And the infection is “we”.

And if that doesn’t help?

Don’t worry, my dear:

We’ll find our own way

To destroy us, I fear.

Our rivers are dead.

All of them stink,

But we don’t need no blood

To be unable to drink.

There’s radioactive pollution

And poisonous skies.

They tell you it’s harmless –

But that is all lies.

Our cattle are dying,

The soil is bone dry –

And we have the cheeks

To ask ourselves “Why?”!

Is that arrogance or ignorance?

I really don’t know…

Maybe it is stupidity –

With potential to grow.

Cos we do know about

The “causes and actions”

Between venom and death –

We can make the connections.

But as long as we’re greedy

And turn a blind eye

To the damage we’re causing –

Then we deserve to die.

We’re abusing creation

And create life anew.

We clone seeds and beasts –

Without knowing what we do.

And as Shakespeare once said,

And I second it, friends:

These violent delights

Have violent ends.

And if we’re lucky and

Nature won’t bring us down,

Then it’s a big red button

Next to a stupid blond clown.

It’s Genesis reversed

With ashes and dust.

Day eight on the schedule –

And all will be crushed.

2018 © Susanne Kaemmerer

Distant thunder

First you see the dark clouds looming,

Black drapes engulfing all the light.

All the blue they are consuming –

Immersing bright day into night.

And then you hear a distant thunder,

You feel a light breeze from afar.

And then the world is going under…

The elements: They are at war!

There’s lightning rolling, lashing, dashing,

And clouds are whipped down by the gale.

That roaring, rumbling thunder’s frightening!

You hope the earth will still prevail.

For it is now you understand

What small a creature is a man.

2018 © Susanne Kaemmerer

The things I thought I’d never do

Never cheat 
And never lie
Or wish for someone else to die

Never give up
And stop believing
Or stand opposed a world deceiving

Never be broken
And ripped apart
Or have to mend my broken heart 

Never grow old -
But be young forever
And never have to face Death - ever

Never suffer
And never fall
Or struggle to get up at all

Never lose
And never fail 
Or into wrong directions sail

Never look back
And mourn the past
Or ask time not to go that fast

Never forget -
But remember forever 
And never have to leave you - ever

Never be scared
And never be scarred
Or completely be thrown off my guard 

Never regret 
And never mistaken
Or be haunted by the road not taken

Never lose focus
Or never slow down 
And accept life with a grimmy frown 

2017 © Susanne Kämmerer

Don’t

Don’t promise – but prove
Don’t stand still – but move
Don’t always be tame – but also be wild
Sometimes a grown-up – sometimes a child

Don’t ever be sorry – but reflected
Don’t welcome evil – but reject it
Don’t be stupid – but be wise
No pretending – no disguise

Don’t hesitate – just do 
Don’t lie – but be true
Don’t be too modest – but do wear that crown
Never look back – never down

Don’t focus on failure – but value success
Don’t question your virtues – but the shit you possess
Don’t pile up dull things – but experience instead 
Always on the look-out – always ahead

Don’t just guess – but strive to know
Don’t stay small – but constantly grow
Don’t always refuse – but try to be open
Never be torn – never be broken

Don’t try never failing – but learning instead
Don’t let bad moods rule you – but up with your head
Don’t cry over nothings – try perspective for a change
Even if it’s a challenge – even if it’s strange

Don’t keep liars near – but bond with the faithful
Don’t always complain – but also be grateful
Don’t cling to what broke you – but please learn the lesson
It’s no good the tears – it’s no good the stressing

Don’t dream your life – but make it happen
Don’t drown in sadness – but just keep on laughing
Don’t take life too seriously – but to yourself be true
There’s only one life – there’s only one you

2017 © Susanne Kämmerer

Heartbreak

Don’t remember this state: unbroken.

The scars are mended - a makeshift repair.

It’s been stumped on and shattered to pieces -

My poor heart: I should take more care…

And the love always lasting the longest

Is the one that’s no longer returned.

Henceforth it remains unrequited

And that’s a state that needs to be learned.

Cos my memory still loves you dear…

You killed me, but I’m breathing.

I’m a living delusion far from truth

With a heart that’s barely beating.

2018 © Susanne Kaemmerer